To the movies with Lizzyboo Broadener. Lizzyboo: Hope’s big little sister, taller, blonder, rounder faced, fuller figured. Lizzyboo’s breasts are a family joke. Ah, those family jokes. Ah, those secondary sexual characteristics – those SSCs! This is the big question about Lizzyboo’s breasts: where did they come from? No other Broadener, past or present, has got Lizzyboo’s breasts. Hope hasn’t got Lizzyboo’s breasts. She makes do with Hope’s instead, which are a whole lot smaller. It was felt (the family joke continues) that Marmaduke might give Hope’s Lizzyboo’s breasts, or at least make Hope’s bigger. But there’s Marmaduke for you – disobliging to the last. When Marmaduke was done with Hope’s breasts, they were mauled and drained and chewed and tugged all right, but no bigger. A lot sorer – but no bigger. And there’s childless Lizzyboo (thirty-one and just starting to worry) with her beautiful twins. It’s very hot still, and she wears just a sleeveless T-shirt on the way to the flick. The clear lineaments of her embarrassing perfection spread agony on the street. The guys can’t take it. She makes Keiths of us all – or everyone except me, everyone except the man at her side, who doesn’t dare look. The SSCs on her. Will you look at those SCCs.
Martin Amis, London Fields
