Hermann Karlovich 35
Oh, reader, I felt as fresh as a child after my little snooze; my soul was rinsed clean; I was, in fact, only in my thirty-sixth year, and the generous remainder of my life might be devoted to something better than a vile will-o’-the-wisp. Really, what a fascinating thought; to take the advice of fate and, now, at once, leave room, forever leave and forget, and spare my poor double… And, who knows, maybe he was not the least like me after all, I could see only the crown of his head, he was fast asleep with his back to me. Thus an adolescent, after yielding once again to a solitary and shameful vice, says to himself with inordinate force and clearness: ‘That’s finished for good; from this time forth, life shall be pure; the rapture of purity’; thus, after having voiced everything, having lived through everything in advance and had my fill of pain and pleasure, I was now superstitiously keen to turn away from temptation for ever.
· Despair (Otchayanie) (Trans. Vladimir Nabokov)

